Mouseketeers upend Diamond Ducks

Mouseketeers upend , 48-7

The offense did what was expected. The defense was even better than head coach Nathaniel Churchmouse hoped. Mickey Mouse passed for two touchdowns and ran for another as the Mouseketeers rolled past the Diamond 48-7.



The Mouseketeers (9-3) had little difficulty with the Diamond Ducks (2-9), tied with the for the worst start in history. The game was a blowout by halftime, and the Mouseketeers reserves got nearly as much playing time as the starters.

The high-octane offense had 42 points by the third quarter in one of the most lopsided football games in recent memory.

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The Mouseketeers’ offense had another impressive afternoon, but the defense made the look as dismal as the Ducks record, intercepting three passes and holding them to 322 total yards – most of them after the game was decided.

“I was very pleased with our defense,” Churchmouse said. “We continued to take the ball away. We came out strong on both sides of the ball. We dominated the line of scrimmage. We made a significant improvement today.”

Oswald the ran for 81 yards and two touchdowns. Cinderella co-stars, and , each rushed for a touchdown as the heavy Disney Football favorites scored 21 points in the first 12 minutes.

Mickey was 13-of-20 for 181 yards despite sitting out the fourth quarter. While they weren’t close to the eye-popping numbers he put up last week against the Catamounts (417 total yards and three touchdowns), they were more than enough to beat the Diamond Ducks.

The game matched two teams in polar opposites of one another. The Mouseketeers shut out the Diamond Ducks until the fourth quarter, with a combination of Cinderella characters and weak side fire zone blitzes.

“On offense, you either go for the quick strike, or you’re methodical. We weren’t either,” said.

With watching from the Mouseketeers booth in the press box, led the Mouseketeers on a game-opening 57-yard drive capped by Mickey’s 1-yard TD run.

“We had to make a statement in the first series,” Mickey said. “We came out playing well at the start.”

After the Ducks punted, Mickey took just two plays before throwing a 45-yard touchdown pass to . Diamond Ducks quarterback Daisy Duck’s next pass was tipped and intercepted, Gus capped an eight-play drive with his first offensive touchdown of the year.

“I think that this is one time that the score did summarize the game,” Ducks running back said. “They got up early, and that was it.”

The Mouseketeers offense struggled in the second quarter, but the Ducks kept giving them plenty of opportunities. fumbled on a punt return late in the second quarter, and Mickey capitalized with a 16-yard pass to nephew Morty Fieldmouse, who scored his team-leading sixth touchdown.

The Mouseketeers went up 42-0 late in the third quarter on Jaq’s 25-yard reverse TD run, which was keyed by Mickey’s spectacular hot dog block on Diamond Ducks Glittering Goldie.

The Ducks finally scored on a short drive following a Mouseketeers fumble early in the fourth. Daisy was 18-of-40 for 171 yards.

“This was the coming together of the defense,” Mouseketeers linebacker Basil of Baker Street said. “We’re cutting down on our mistakes.”

The Ducks two-win season under embattled coach dropped like the Tower of Terror to new depths of futility – and rose to new heights of comedy, with even more turnovers and mistakes. On one play, Daisy caught her own deflected pass and recovered his own fumble while gaining 2 yards.

“That was a very good Disney Football team,” Mabel said. “Our offense has done some very good things through the course of this year, but it seemed like every time we had a play called, they were right on it.”

HESS Sports Field #25 featured a large contingent of Mouseketeers fans decked out in red and black, and there were large sections of empty seats in the Diamond Ducks usually packed fan section.

Several fans were seen at the Welcome Center asking for a refund on season passes, complaining that the Diamond Ducks football team was as big of a failure as Disney’s “Alice Through the Looking Glass”.

One of the fans left in the stadium held a bright yellow sign reading, “Go Back To Your Disney Job!”


PlayerPass YardsPass TDsRush YardsRush TDsReceiving YardsReceiving TDs
Daisy Duck244121000
April Duck0080140
June Duck0000130
May Duck0000370
Gosalyn Mallard0057030
Emily Quackfaster0000390
Goldie “Glittering” O’Gilt0000351
Brigitta MacBridge000000
Dickie Duck0000940


PlayerPass YardsPass TDsRush YardsRush TDsReceiving YardsReceiving TDs
Mickey Mouse206256100
Mortimer “Morty” Fieldmouse00140451
Ferdinand “Ferdie” Fieldmouse0020220
Oswald the Lucky Rabbit00128200
Shamrock Bones000000
Seamus O’Hara0000220
Detective Casey000040
Amos Mouse0000451
Basil of Baker Street0000240

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